loser

been to club bath for two consecutive wednesday na. wala lang feel ko lang pumunta to cruise around. dami rin tao nung first wednesday na punta ko but i ended up with only one, hehe, that is by choice kung di pa nagshow sa harap ko yung naka-do ko di ko papatulan yun e hehe.

that is not my story for this entry. there's a certain guy that caught my attention. maganda built nya tamang tama lang sa height nya and he's wearing a black pants while cruising around. para syang model ng mga pants sa mga billboard ng bench. that is the first time i saw him there.

i can tell if a person is up to something or not. in his case para syang observant lang. madalas syang umikot and mejo shy type ang dating.

i used to smoke a lot in the balcony and sometimes dumadaan sya and he even stay near me for a while. Ayoko isipin na the reason he stays near me is because he likes me, flattering kung ganun nga pero i dont think so, with a body like him will definitely look for someone with equal footing, hehe. and besides, ginagawa ko rin naman yung ganun, i stay or be near with someone kahit di ko trip.

ayoko din magbigay ng motibo na attracted ako sa kanya dahil baka mapahiya lang ako mejo mailap din sya pag may nag aaproached sa kanya. although sometimes pasulyap sulyap ako to have a glimpse of him. His face is tipong japanese na chinese, malakas ang appeal pero di ganun kagwapuhan.

i did not stay for long during that first wednesday coz i have an early appointment the following day, di ko na rin sya nakita, mejo may pagka aloof ako sa mga guys na kagaya nila e, those with great bodies masyado lang akong nanliliit kahit matangkad ako hehe.

Then came my next wedneday cruising. Im planning to be off at work the following day kaya i can stay late that's why i decided to drop by cb again.

I was there as early as 830pm an early start for my cruising. not much crowd, sabi ko sarili ko maaga pa naman and wednesday for sure madami darating based on my observation.

worst, andun yung makulit na nakakainis. pagpasok ko palang sa veranda nakita ko na sya agad, sabay talikod agad. I looked for other available smoking area, pero wala e. i have no choice than to face that loser. hehe.

ewan ko dun as if di nya ko kilala e familiar na sya sa akin, as expected lumapit nga sa akin, nagpakilala at kung ano ano pa, may hipo pang kasama at pilit akong pinapasama sa kwarto nya. magaling daw sya at may free massage pa, samahan ko daw sya sa room nya wala naman daw mangyayari. ano ko gago?! hehehe

meron nanaman lumapit, naghahanap naman ng ka-orgy, niyayaya ako at hanap pa daw kami ng isa, ngek! yoko nga. meron pang mangilan ngilan na di ko na rin pinagpapa-pansin.

unexpectedly andun ulit si jean guy, the one from last wednesday. same routine nanaman sya pero balewala lang sa akin kung last week nga wala naman ako napala sa pagpapa-cute ngayon pa kaya hehe... but still hoping hehe

andun din yun naka-do ko last wednesday, nagyayaya din may room na raw sya ngayon, mejo makulit din, di tuloy ako makaporma sa iba kasi lapit ng lapit at nagsho-show ulit.

mejo late na and pagod na rin ako kahit zero pa rin ako. all of a sudden lumapit si jean guy and ask for a cigarette, hmm nangangatog pa kong binigyan sya ng yosi.

kanina pa daw nyang gustong humingi ng yosi sa akin nahihiya lang daw sya... bigla atang humaba buhok ko, bwahahahaha. di ko alam kung anong approache gagawin ko, kung tipong suplado, pa cute or aggresive. well, nilakasan ko na loob ko to start the conversation kahit na di ako usually ang nag iinitiate, moment ko na to e, hehehe!

our conversation went well, ok naman...kwento ng ganito, tanong ng ganun? wala na ata syang choice kundi kausapin ako wala na kasing tao konti na lang and puro latak na cguro. hehe,

nakwento ko rin sa kanya na i saw him last wednesday but di nya ko ma-recall, first time nya lang daw yun, so second time ngayon, out of curiosity daw and he read about the place in a certain gay mag. sinabi ko na lang na kaya ko sya narecognize is because sya lang ang nakapants na naglilibot, he thought ok lang daw yun kasi wala naman sumisita sa kanya. then dumaan yung owner ng cb na tipong tinitignan sya ng masama, natakot ata sa sinabi kong bawal ang nakapants sa loob, baka daw paalisin sya hehe.

i dont know why pero nagpaalam na sya na pasok na daw ulit sya sa loob maybe to cruise again, well, natorpe nanaman ako. anyway ganun talaga life. inubos ko lang ang isang stick then pumasok na rin ako. I cruise around to check kung asan sya, pero di ko nakita, nag cr na lang ako then decided for a one last stick before i call it a night.

on my way to veranda, i heard from the other door na may lumabas sakto naman akong papasok sa other side, mejo binagalan ko to see kung sino yung lumabas at walang iba kundi sya nga. he's headed palayo so sabi ko wala na to. i stayed for a while then bumukas ang pinto then pumasok sya, asked for another stick and a chit-chat again. Alam ko nakita nya akong pumasok nung palabas sya maybe he is also looking for me pero inignore ko na lang yun idea na yun. enjoy naman kahit walang sex e, i dont know rin kung meron syang encounter that night pero i dont think na meron.

we parted ng ganun na lang, either pareho kaming shy or mas gusto nya lang magkausap. ok na rin yun ganun mas masarap ang ganun experience kesa sa sex. para meron something to look forward.

the thrill is silence ika nga ng slogan ng cb... but still im such a loser, hehe.